How to Joyfully Serve One Another in Love
Discover practical ways to serve others with joy and love, deepening relationships and fostering a caring community rooted in kindness and compassion.
Learn how to joyfully serve one another in love and strengthen your relationships. This message shares practical tips, biblical insights, and personal stories to inspire you to care for others with genuine kindness. Whether in your family, church, or community, discover how loving service can make a lasting impact.
Trevor H Lund is an encourager, writer, and authorpreneur dedicated to helping people discover peace, joy, and hope in all circumstances. He encourages others through his blog, podcast, and live casts at revtrev.com, shares his writing at trevorlund.com, and teaches in Live LIGHT Academy at livelight.ca.
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I started this week knowing I had difficult conversations to have with a lot of people. Some I serve, others I support. All of them had to be done in love.
Have you ever had a week when you just weren’t looking forward to Monday morning?
Some people call that “adulting”. Other people call it life.
Sometimes Serve willingly
We’re talking today about Enjoying Service and I need to start out by saying “It’s not always enjoyable.”
Let’s consider something…what if God didn’t give the local church to us to make us happy, but to make us holy?
Sometimes things just need to be done. Sometimes we’re the only one who can get that thing done. Sometimes what we do isn’t noticed or when it is noticed, it’s complained about. Sometimes we feel that nobody cares. We can feel unseen and unappreciated. We can become weary in doing good.
Listen, that’s not the way God designed service to be.
We’re to serve Him and each other in a wonderful, reaffirming, self-effacing, rhythmic dance of joy.
You CAN have peace and hope and joy at all times and in every situation. I’ll give you some tips and tools to do that in the day-to-day of your everyday if you currently are—have in the past or will in the future —serve God and others without joy.
We have lots to get through today.
Can I pray?
Let’s start with what Paul tells the church in Phillipi:
Philippians 2:1-18 - NIV Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
Before we go on I need to mention something that some of you may be experiencing or may be approaching. I know that portion of scripture can seem trite or overwhelming if you’re not in the right place. Specifically, I’m thinking about something called compassion fatigue.
A word on Compassion Fatigue
In my day job I work with capable and caring people who care for others. When I meet with them, one thing I listen for is compassion fatigue.
Define what it is:
Compassion fatigue is a state of physical, emotional, and psychological exhaustion resulting from the repeated, prolonged exposure to the suffering or trauma of others. This happens in caring professions and it happens in the church.
Signs you can pick up on:
Emotional and Mental signs:
Reduced empathy, mood changes, cognitive difficulties, hypervigilance or a negative self-view
Physical signs:
Profound exhaustion, stress-related ailments (headaches, gastrointestinal issues) Sleep disturbances, Appetite changes
Behavioural signs:
Social withdrawal, avoidance, loss of interest, unhealthy coping.
Different than burn-out.
- Burnout is typically related to work-related stress, feeling overwhelmed by workload, or feeling unappreciated in a professional environment.
- Compassion Fatigue is specifically rooted in the act of caring for others and being exposed to their trauma, leading to "secondary traumatic stress".
- What to do
When this happens, it’s important to always remember what they tell you in the airplanes—put your own oxygen mask on before helping the person next to you.
I’ve learned that if I can listen for signs of it and catch it early, we can mitigate disaster later on.
It’s like huge asteroids heading towards earth. Hollywood would have us believe we can blast them out of the sky when they’re right on top of us. But the resulting debris would still probably kill us. Those who—know more about math and space than I do—are working on gently nudging asteroids a long way out. Far enough out a gentle nudge is all you need.
So I listen for compassion fatigue and work to mitigate it in the moment and help the people I serve create plans to avoid it in the future.
I’m not talking about compassion fatigue today.
I need to mention it because my focus today is on understanding the spiritual and theological elements of serving with joy. And I would never pull out this list—that I’m going to give you today— if I was sitting across the table with you, hearing you may have compassion fatigue.
If I’m hearing you have compassion fatigue my role is to create safe space so you can self express your thoughts feelings and emotions with judgement, criticism or condemnation. You need to be heard. You deserve to be seen.
The message today is more about more about long-term far out nudging to avoid certain devastation. It’s not a hammer to pound you to do what I think is right—even though it might seem like it if you have compassion fatigue.
Back to Philippians 2
Philippians 2 describes God’s intention for the church. And it works, as we work it. We need to work it in the strength He provides.
We are to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. But in humility we value each other above ourselves,
This has to be a group effort. It doesn’t work if 10% of the people do it and 90% look out for their own interest. It doesn’t work if people are unseen or unappreciated as they submit to everyone else and nobody else serves anyone else. It’s not a dance unless we do it together.
Paul says:
not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
God has designed this to be so encouraging and it can be encouraging when it’s done in love. When someone stumbles we can pick them up. When they can’t walk together we can lift them up. All the while, together we are moving to the rhythms of his grace. It is beautiful, it is holy. It’s something like heaven will be. We’re serving one another in love.
Where are you?
I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know if you have compassion fatigue. I don’t know if you feel unnoticed and ignored. I don’t know if you’re in a season of waiting.
IF you feel unnoticed and ignored… I have one tip for you today.
I had someone in my first church that I noticed one Sunday in his regular spot. I hadn’t seen him for a while so I went up to him to say hi and ask him how he was doing.
“Terrible” he said. “I was in the hospital and no one came to see me.” I was shocked. “Did you tell me and I forgot?” “No.” Then I got curious. “Did you tell someone in the office and they forgot to tell me?” “No.” “Did you tell the elders of the church?” “No.” Then I remembered, “You have a Care Group that meets in your house, did you tell them? “No.” Then I remembered something else. “I had an hour long conversation with your wife this week, why didn’t she tell me?” “I told her not to tell you.”
I lost it. “That’s why James tells us if we’re sick to CALL FOR the Elders of the church to pray. How are we supposed to know if you don’t tell us? God has yet to lead me to a random hospital room to meet someone who could have told me they wanted a visit.”
It was funny. But how many times does that happen to us? We’d rather sit in the pew and be offended than bother someone for help—even when we need help. We’d rather keep on working because “Someone has to do it” instead of being a burden to others.
But God placed us together to carry one another burdens so so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).
If you are feeling you’re growing weary doing good TELL SOMEONE! We’re here to encourage one another. We’re here to build each other up. We will give you safe space to self-express your thoughts, feelings and emotions without judgment, criticism or condemnation.
Church, we can’t put ministries over people’s wellness. If you are serving anywhere and don’t feel supported or feel you need a break, you need to tell a pastor.
I would rather anything not get done than have people leave the church because they feel locked in and can’t get out without leaving the church.
What about waiting?
Now another thing that might be going through could be you’re in a season of waiting. I had a season where it felt I was put on shelf. No door would open. There was nowhere I could serve. Everywhere I was able to serve wasn’t given any support and instead there was conflicting priorities.
IF you’re in a season of waiting… I have one tip for you.
Times of waiting are not always easy times to get through. I think the best advice I’ve heard about a season of waiting is that “When you have to wait, be a like a waiter—and serve others.”
I’ll show you how to do it with joy.
I believe the key to serving with joy is to serve with our whole heart.
Serving with our Whole Heart
We’re told in Deuteronomy to serve the Lord with all of our heart:
Deuteronomy 10:12-13 NLT “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul. And you must always obey the Lord’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good.
Remember the heart to the Hebrew thinker was the seat of the emotion—yes, but it was also the seat of the decision and the seat of the action. Our decisions, our emotions and our actions need to line up in order to be doing something with our whole heart.
So how do you serve with your whole heart?
Decision
Joshua 24:15
But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
→ Service is a deliberate choice to follow God. And it’s a deliberate choice to serve others in love (Galatians 5:13).
Action
1 Samuel 12:24
But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.
→ Serving God is lived out through faithfulness in what we do.
We do what we say we’re going to do. We keep our word even when it hurts (Psalm 15:4).
Emotion
When we serve with our whole heart we have joy. (Acts 20:35, Psalm 100:2, 2 Corinthians 9:7, Philippians 2:17-18, Matthew 25:21)
→ Gladness and joy should characterize our service.
It’s more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35) When we serve others we’re serving God and we serve the Lord with gladness (Psalm 100:2). We know God loves a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7) Even if we’re being poured out as drink offering we can be glad and rejoice (Philippians 2:17-18). We work to hear “'Well done, good and faithful servant! ... Come and share your master’s happiness!'" (Matthew 25:21).
Serve God and Others with our Whole Heart
When we serve God and others with our whole heart, a beautiful rhythm starts to emerge. We think of each other ahead of ourselves. We look out for each other’s interests. We do nothing out or selfish ambition or vain conceit. We honour one another, accept one another, serve one another, submit to one another, forgive one another, encourage one another, love one another.
This is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus - to have peace and hope and joy at all times and in every situation.
When we serve we should have joy.
When we don’t have the joy we need to be able to stop and access why we don’t.
Here are 6 Biblical Reasons Serving Can Lose its Joy
1) Serving becomes self-focused instead of God-focused Matthew 6:1
2) Pride and comparison creep in Galatians 6:4
3) Serving is done in human strength, not God’s strength 1 Peter 4:11
4) Serve others with wrong expectations Luke 6:35
5) Sin, bitterness, or resentment enters the heart Hebrews 12:15
6) Love grows cold Matthew 24:12
What’s the solution?
That’s a great question, I’m so glad you asked.
On top of all the difficult things I had to do this week, I got to enjoy developing the Be JOYFUL Serving Tool
J – Jesus-focused
O – Operate humbly
Y – Yield to God's strength
F – Free expectations
U – Unclutter your heart
L – Let love grow
Let’s unpack the Be JOYFUL Serving Tool
J – Jesus-focused
When service is done mainly for recognition, appreciation, or a sense of worth, it can become draining. When serving becomes self-focused instead of God-focused, joy disappears. Jesus warned in Matthew 6:1, “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.” Our joy is lost when service is about impressing people rather than pleasing God.
Selfish ambition - Selfish ambition is saying or thinking “I need to look good or I need to avoid looking bad.”
I think that too often we do things because someone expects us to do it. We do it look good to them. Unfortunately, that’s often pastors or parents or kids or siblings putting on the pressure.
How to keep your joy:
Serve the way God wants you to serve, not the way others tell you should. Take the time to hear from Him. He’ll direct your steps.
Anytime someone asks you to serve—hey, can you get the garbage or would you mind stacking the chairs—but committing to something for a season—train yourself to say “I’ll pray about that” then pray about it until you find peace in saying yes or saying no.
Whatever you do work for God
Colossians 3:23–24 — Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Do all you do to the glory of God
1 Corinthians 10:31 — So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Serve for Jesus’ glory, not for personal recognition.
Tip: Do everything for the glory of God. I’ve learned to preach to please God. If I end up pleasing you it makes sense if you’re pleasing God. Or I might be telling you what you want to hear. I don’t know the difference.
If you have lost serving with joy ask Holy Spirit:
Am I serving for the show?
O – Operate humbly
Joy fades when a servant starts comparing their role, results, or attention with others. Pride and comparison rob us of joy. Galatians 6:4 says, “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else.” Joy drains away when we compare or compete instead of serving with humility.
Remember Selfish ambition is saying or thinking “I need to look good or I need to avoid looking bad.”
Vain conceit is saying or thinking, “I deserve this”
How to keep your joy:
Practice humility and see yourself as part of one body. Humility is not putting yourself down, it’s seeing yourself as God sees you and treating others like they are made in His image.
Count others more significant than yourself.
Philippians 2:3–4 — Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Remember we are members of one body
Romans 12:3 — For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
Celebrate others and focus on your calling.
Tip: Comparison is the thief of joy. Gratitude is the gateway to grow. The easiest way to align your thoughts with God’s thoughts is to be grateful. Give thanks with your whole heart. Decide to give thanks. Feel grateful. Show appreciation to God and people.
If you have lost serving with joy ask Holy Spirit:
Am I comparing myself to others?
Y – Yield to God's strength
Serving in our own strength leads to exhaustion and frustration. 1 Peter 4:11 reminds us, “If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides.” Relying on ourselves makes serving a burden rather than a blessing.
…for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
How to keep your joy:
Rely on God’s power and rest in Him. Godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Timothy 6:6
Isaiah 30:15 In returning and rest you will be saved. In quietness and in trust you will have strength.
Remember apart from Christ we can do nothing.
John 15:5 — “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
Remember Jesus will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28–30 — “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Ask God daily for His power to serve.
Tip: Stick to your capacity—knowing that changes over time and circumstance. God has given you everything you need for life and godliness. You live by the spirit so keep in step with Holy Spirit.
One of the hardest things I’m still dealing with is my capacity to work.
If you have lost serving with joy ask Holy Spirit:
Why am I so tired?
F – Free expectations
If we expect gratitude, fairness, or success in return, disappointment can kill joy. Joy is lost when we serve with the wrong expectations, hoping for praise or repayment.
Jesus said in Luke 6:35, “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.” Serving with strings attached leads to disappointment.
If that’s how we’re supposed to treat our enemies, how should we treat our friends. If we feel slighted or overlooked, it’s up to us to go talk to them. Do it for reconilitation’s sake.
How to keep your joy:
Do the good you know you should do and trust God with the results.
Galatians 6:9 — Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Work for the Lord
1 Corinthians 15:58 — Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
Serve freely, expecting nothing but God's pleasure.
Tip: Whatever you do work with your whole heart as unto the Lord. Encourage others and you will be encouraged. Bless others and you will be blessed.
We need to encourage and build each other up. But while we can enjoy it from others, our greatest encouragement needs to come from God.
If you have lost serving with joy ask Holy Spirit:
Do I seek my validation from others?
U – Unclutter your heart
If hurt, anger, or unforgiveness take root, service can feel heavy and joyless. Sin, bitterness, or resentment choke out joy in serving. Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” An unexamined heart quickly turns service into drudgery.
How to keep your joy:
Root out Bitterness
Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”
Bitterness is sneaky—it can start small and quietly poison your heart. The Bible tells us to actively watch for it, uproot it early, and not let it spread. Unforgiveness left unchecked always drains joy from service.
Bring Your Burdens Into the Light
James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”
Don’t suffer in silence. God designed the church as a family to support one another. Sharing your hurts breaks the power of isolation and invites healing and encouragement.
Regularly confess, repent and forgive, and keep your heart clear before God.
Tip: Risk sharing your frustration with others. Don’t give your frustration to everyone and anyone. Choose people of wisdom. How do you know people of Wisdom? James 3:17 - wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favouritism and is always sincere.
If you have lost serving with joy ask Holy Spirit:
Is bitterness affecting my service?
L – Let love grow
When love grows cold, service feels hollow. Paul taught us: “For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13 Without love, service is just routine and loses meaning.
How to keep your joy:
Repent and do the things you did at first
Jesus told the church in Ephesus to “But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first!Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches. (Revelation 2:4-5).
When we lose our love we need to repent and do the things we did at first.
Remember what love looks like
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Tip: Ask God to renew your love for Him and others daily. For specific people- Ask God to help them. Intercede for them and give thanks for them. 1 Timothy 2:1-2 That changes your heart towards them and allows you to serve in love.
If you have lost serving with joy ask Holy Spirit:
Has my love grown cold?
Conclusion
When we serve God and others we should do it with our whole heart and have joy. When we lose the joy in serving, these questions can help us know what we’re to do.
Questions to nudge you to safety
Am I serving for the show? See - Matthew 6:1
Am I comparing myself to others? See - Galatians 6:4
Why am I so tired? See - Matthew 11:28
Do I seek my validation from others? See - Galatians 1:10
Is bitterness affecting my service? See - Hebrews 12:15
Has my love grown cold? See - Revelation 2:4-5
God has given us the tools of confession and repentance to allow us to throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. Confession is agreeing with Him that it’s sin. Repentance is changing our minds and doing the exact opposite. (We need to repent with our whole heart.)
Will you enjoy service? Will you agree with God that he’s given you everything you need for life and godliness? With you throw off everything that hinders you serving God and others with your whole heart? You may need to give up stuff that you’re doing to look good or avoid looking bad.
God is calling us to a wonderful, reaffirming, self-effacing, rhythmic dance of joy when he tells us to serve one another in love (Galatians 5:13)
Get help if you experience compassion fatigue. I firmly believe those hurt in community are best healed in community.
The end of my week
I knew I had difficult conversations at the start of the week. I didn’t know about the heart breaking conversations I had later in the week. I put my phone on do not disturb, knowing I may have crisis calls coming in at some point.
We need to encourage and build each other up. We need to share our burdens for each other to know. Sometimes it’s just giving each other safe space to self-express their thoughts, feelings and emotions without judgement, criticism or condemnation. Sometimes we can pray peace and quietness into each other’s souls. We need to give each other permission to do that. I’m not saying everyone needs to tell everyone everything—use wisdom in this. Seek people of wisdom and use some social awareness to know when a good time is to share.
End with a Blessing
Romans 15:5 (NLT) May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus.
Can I pray?
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