How to Have Well Healed Wounds
Let gratitude restore your heart as you learn to have well healed wounds.
Trevor H Lund helps capable and caring people—who are growing weary in doing good—move from striving and stress to peace and purpose as they rediscover and enjoy the life God created them for. He does this as an encourager, writer, and authorpreneur. He encourages through his blog, podcast, and live casts at https://revtrev.com/, shares his writing at https://trevorlund.com/, and teaches in Live LIGHT Academy at https://livelight.ca/.
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If you’re in a place where you just wanted to curse God and die, the best thing you could do was find a Psalm that felt the same way you did and camp out for while until you knew God knew how you felt and you started to feel more of his peace once once more.
Read it slowly. Pray it honestly. Feel the angst of the language. Let those words give language to what is happening inside you. Remain there until you know that God understands how you feel and until you begin to sense his peace once more.
Today, I want to continue that conversation. I want to show you how gratitude helps us move from hurt toward wholeness.
Gratitude Helps Restore You
Gratitude doesn’t fake it
It’s not because gratitude pretends that nothing happened. Gratitude does not tell us to ignore our pain. Gratitude does not pretend every situation is good.
Gratitude restores us by helping us see that, even in painful seasons, God has not stopped being faithful. And while every situation is not good, He will work everything out for our good.
Hurt and hope will shape the way we see everything
Have you noticed how pain affects your attention?
When we are hurting, we often notice what is missing before we notice what remains. We can look with eyes of lack instead of eyes of blessings. We see the unanswered prayer, the broken relationship, the loss, the disappointment, or the opportunity that never came.
When we hurt, we expect more hurt.
Someone who has been betrayed might find it difficult to trust again. Someone who has experienced loss might fear another loss. Someone who has prayed for healing and has not yet received the answer they wanted might begin to wonder whether God hears them at all.
Pain asks difficult questions:
“Why did God allow this?”
“Why did they leave?”
“Why did my prayer seem unanswered?”
Those questions are not signs that you have failed God. They are signs that you are human and that something has wounded you and you’ve created a wall to protect yourself.
The Bible gives us permission to speak honestly.
David did not always begin his psalms with praise. In fact 2/3rds of all the Psalms are Psalms of lament. The Psalm I often find myself camping out on is Psalm 13–which is a Psalm of David
Psalm 13:1-4
How long, Lord? Will you forget me for ever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
Look how he ends 5-6…
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.
The circumstances might not have changed between the first verse and the last verse. What changed was David’s perspective. He brought his pain into the presence of God, and in God’s presence, pain was no longer the only thing he could see.
This is the pattern for Psalms of lament. All but two end with our perspective moving from our pain to His promise.
Tip: if you want to experience God afresh, learn how to lament. Learn to use the language of the psalms to pour out your pain to God https://revtrev.com/psalms/ I have the psalms of lament categorized by emotions
Pouring out your heart to God is where gratitude begins.
Gratitude does not deny the wound
Some people resist gratitude because they believe it requires them to pretend.
They think, “If I give thanks, does that mean what happened was acceptable? Does it mean I am no longer allowed to grieve? Does it mean I have to trust someone who harmed me?”
No.
Gratitude does not call evil good. It does not erase betrayal. It does not excuse abuse. It does not remove the need for boundaries, justice, counselling, or wise support.
You are allowed to say:
“That hurt me.”
“I am still grieving.”
“I do not understand why this happened.”
“I need help.”
Give thanks IN not necessarily Give thanks FOR
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says:
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
It does not say to give thanks for all circumstances…Well it does, so let me tell you why.
Ephesians 5:18-20 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
But the command in those verses is “to be continually filled with Holy Spirit” and the results—of being continually filled with Holy Spirit—is that you’ll speak to one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual psalms, sing and make music from your heart to the Lord AND that you’ll always being giving thanks to God the Father for everything.
In English we put a comma to show it. In Greek “being continually filled” is the command in that sentence.
To give thanks FOR everything is not a command, it’s the natural result of being continually filled with Holy Spirit. When we are continually filled with Holy Spirit we naturally—or supernaturally—do God’s will.
What is part of his will for us? It’s to give thanks IN all circumstances.
Scripture does not tell us to thank God for cruelty, sickness, injustice, or loss as if those things were good.
But it does tells us to give thanks in all circumstances—because that’s God’s will for us.
We can give thanks that God is present. We can give thanks that grace is available. We can give thanks that he has blessed us with all wisdom and all knowledge so everything is figureoutable. We can give thanks that suffering will not have the final word. We can give thanks that Christ understands suffering. We give thanks that God is still holding us, even when we do not understand what he is doing.
The key that keeps us for having toxic gratitude—that’s saying we’re grateful when we don’t actually feel grateful—is to give thanks with our whole heart.
Give Thanks with your whole heart
To give thanks with our whole heart we need to decide to give thanks, feel grateful for what we give thanks for and show appreciation for what we felt grateful for. You can give thanks with your whole heart in any circumstance. The best time to train yourself to do it that is when you have a lot to give thanks for.
Gratitude respects the wound but protects your hope.
The difference between an open wound and well healed wounds
I was speaking in a church talking about how to fast from negativity and in the middle of it I found myself saying this—it wasn’t in my notes. I said something like:
“Some of you here take pride in your wounds. You wear your pain like a badge of honour. You think it makes you acceptable to God. But God wants you to know that your wounds hurt Him and what brings Him joy is your wounds well healed. You need to have well healed wounds.”
After the service a lady came up to me with happy tears in her eyes. She told me some time ago God impressed upon her that her wounds would heal well. She said, “when you said that phrase – ‘your wounds well healed’ – I knew God was saying my time of healing is complete.
It was the first time I heard “well-healed wounds.”
What does well healed wounds mean?
An open wound is tender. It reacts to the smallest touch. It demands attention. It affects everything around it.
A well-healed wound still tells you where you have been, but it no longer controls every part of your life.
The scar may remain, but the bleeding has stopped. Scars are cool. Jesus keeps His scars in heaven.
That is what God desires to do in us. He does not erase our history. He redeems it.
Psalm 147:3 says:
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
The Lord is not embarrassed by your wounds. He does not turn away from your sorrow. He comes near to the brokenhearted.
Some of us have been carrying an open wound for years. A conversation, a date on the calendar, a certain place, or a familiar phrase brings the pain rushing back.
God is patient with us. He does not shame us for needing time. Yet he also does not want us to remain trapped forever in what wounded us.
Gratitude is one of the ways God begins to restore our hearts.
Gratitude respects the wound but protects your hope.
Gratitude changes what receives our attention
What we repeatedly look at begins to shape how we think, speak, and feel. If we focus only on what went wrong, our hearts become trained to search for more evidence that life is unsafe and God is distant.
But when we practise giving thanks with all our heart, we begin to notice signs of grace.
For example, Psalm 103 begins with David speaking to his own soul:
“Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.”
David then says:
“Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits.”
Notice the phrase: “Forget not.”
David knew that the soul forgets. We forget God’s kindness when the present pain becomes loud. We forget past provision when today feels uncertain. We forget previous answers to prayer when a new crisis arrives.
So David speaks to himself.
“Remember, soul.”
Remember his forgiveness.
Remember his healing.
Remember his compassion.
Remember his provision.
Remember his faithfulness.
Gratitude is the natural response to remembering the goodness of God.
It is not always an emotion that arrives by itself. At times, gratitude begins as an act of obedience. We say, “Lord, I will remember what is true.”
Gratitude respects the wound but protects your hope.
The ones who received healing but forgot to return
In Luke 17, Jesus met ten men who had leprosy. They stood at a distance and cried out:
“Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”
Jesus told them to go and show themselves to the priests. As they went, they were healed.
Ten men received healing.
Only one returned. He was Samaritan.
That man came back praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him.
Jesus asked: “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?”
All ten received the gift, but only one returned to the giver.
That question still speaks to us.
How often do we do the same?
How often do we ask God for help, receive his kindness, and then move on without returning to thank him?
We pray for provision, then forget to give thanks when the provision arrives.
We ask God to carry us through a difficult season, then become so focused on the next challenge that we forget to remember how he carried us through the last one.
We receive another morning, another breath, another opportunity, another act of kindness, and we treat it as ordinary.
Gratitude helps us return.
It brings us back to the feet of Jesus.
Tip: Keep a list of your answers to prayer. Worry about nothing. Pray about everything with thanksgiving. When God answers those prayers keep them somewhere you can review them and be amazed.
The healed man did not return because he had nothing else to do. He returned because he recognized who had restored him.
Gratitude is more than saying, “Thank you.” It is recognizing the giver behind the gift.
What can unhealed wounds do to us?
The WALL of Unhealed Wounds
W — Wounds: Trauma or hurt experiences.
A — Assumptions: False beliefs formed from wounds (e.g., "I am unlovable").
L — Lifelong vows: Decisions made to cope (e.g., "I must control everything").
L — Limiting strongholds: Ways of thinking that negatively dominate life (anger, people-pleasing, withdrawal).
These are all the results of unhealed wounds. You can get through all of these by having your wounds well-healed.
What happens when gratitude begins to restore us?
What would it be like to remember the past without being pulled back into it? What would it be like to receive something good without immediately expecting it to disappear? What would it be like to say with all honesty, “This hurt me, but God has not abandoned me”?
That is the work of healing.
A grateful heart does not become careless. It becomes steady.
A grateful heart does not stop asking questions. It learns that unanswered questions do not mean an absent God.
A grateful heart does not forget the pain. It remembers the pain alongside God’s faithfulness.
Gratitude respects the wound but protects your hope.
How can we have well-healed wounds?
That’s a great question, I’m so glad you asked. I’ve been working on this tool for sometime. Only when I saw gratitude’s role in it did it all flow together.
HEALing Prayer
This process is simple.
H — Hold the wound before Jesus.
E — Explore feelings and beliefs.
A — Ask Jesus to show you the truth.
L — Listen for Jesus’ response.
This process is simple but the effects are profound.
Gratitude’s role
Start by remembering a memory when you naturally gave thanks with your whole heart. A time you naturally gave thanks to God— you choose to be thankful, felt grateful to God and you naturally showed appreciation to God in worship.
It’s important to start with remembering a time you gave thanks with your whole heart naturally because in the process you might run into trauma that you don’t have the capacity—at this point—to work through.
IF that happens, go back to this safe space when you knew God blessed you and loved you and held you in His hands. Gratitude creates the safe space for us to increase our capacity to heal from hurt.
H — Hold the wound before Jesus
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted.” — Psalm 34:18
Ask Holy Spirit to show you want He wants to heal. Go to the memory of what He shows you. Remember one specific wound or painful memory. Name what happened without hiding or minimizing it.
What do you want to heal today, Lord?
E — Explore your feelings and beliefs
“Search me, God, and know my heart.” — Psalm 139:23
Notice the feelings linked to the wound. Look for beliefs that formed through the experience, such as “I am unsafe,” “I am unworthy,” or “I am alone.”
Not that it’s true, but it feels like it’s true….
If this gets too painful, go back to the safe space you created. If you can continue, go to the next step.
A — Ask Jesus to show you the truth
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3
Ask Jesus to reveal truth. In the memory, see what Jesus shows you or what He tells you.
What is Jesus showing me?
L — Listen for Jesus’ response
“My sheep listen to my voice. I know them, and they follow me.” — John 10:27
Pause in silence. Don’t move on until you see or hear the truth Jesus reveals. Notice changes in your in feelings, thoughts, or spiritual impressions.
Does the memory feel different?
Testing changes against scripture and spiritual fruit is vital to discern true healing.
HEALing Prayer…
Remember when you naturally gave thanks with your whole heart.
H — Hold the wound before Jesus.
E — Explore feelings and beliefs.
A — Ask Jesus to show you the truth.
L — Listen for Jesus’ response.
Realize that wounds can create a wall that might include
W — Wounds: Trauma or hurt experiences.
A — Assumptions: False beliefs formed from wounds (e.g., "I am unlovable").
L — Lifelong vows: Decisions made to cope (e.g., "I must control everything").
L — Limiting strongholds: Ways of thinking that negatively dominate life (anger, people-pleasing, withdrawal).
Jesus wants to heal all of these. But it might take time until your capacity in enlarged to the point you can.
Gratitude and wise healing belong together
If you are struggling with deep grief, trauma, depression, addiction, or thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out to a trusted person and seek appropriate professional support.
Seeking help is not a failure of faith.
Sometimes God’s answer arrives through a pastor. Sometimes through a friend. Sometimes through a counsellor, doctor, or support group.
A grateful heart can still ask for help.
A grateful heart can still set boundaries.
A grateful heart can still seek justice.
A grateful heart can still say, “This relationship is not safe for me.”
Gratitude respects the wound but protects your hope.
Challenge to Start Having Well Healed Wounds
Maybe your heart still feels tender today. Maybe you are not ready to give thanks in everything.
Then begin with one thing. Learn to give thanks with all your heart. Decide to give thanks, feel gratitude for what you gave thanks for and show appreciation for what you felt grateful for.
Do not despise small gratitude. A small seed can grow. A small beam of light is still light. A small step toward Jesus is still a step toward healing.
If you want to train yourself to do this naturally, try the 70-Day Gratitude Challenge. You can join anytime, or join us on the next campaign.
The Live LIGHT 70-Day Gratitude Challenge
In 21 days you’ll be 10% happier. In 3 sets of 21 days —or 63-70 days we actually creates new neural pathways in our brains so it becomes natural for you to give thanks always….which is God’s will for you.
Learn more and sign up to get daily help to feel grateful for free at https://revtrev.link/thanks
Conclusion
The one healed man in Luke 17 returned to Jesus. That is where our gratitude must lead us. Not merely to positive thinking. Not merely to a better attitude.
Back to Jesus.
He is the one who meets us in our sorrow. He is the one who bears our grief. He is the one who forgives our sin, restores our hope, and gives us peace and hope and joy that circumstances cannot provide.
When we return to Jesus, we remember that our identity is not defined by what happened to us.
The cross tells us that God is able to bring redemption out of suffering. The resurrection tells us that death and loss do not have the final word.
So we give thanks—with our whole heart, in every situation—not because every chapter is easy or good, but because Jesus is present in every word written in our book of life.
Gratitude respects the wound but protects your hope.
Closing prayer
Can I Pray for Well Healed Wounds?
Father, thank You for Your goodness, mercy, forgiveness, and faithful presence. Meet us in our anxiety, grief, and emotional pain. Teach us to bring our needs to You with thanksgiving and exchange our problems for your peace.
Help us remember what You have done and trust You with what lies ahead. Let the peace of Christ guard our hearts and minds. Restore what has been wounded, strengthen our faith, and help gratitude grow within us, even in difficult circumstances. In Jesus’ name, amen.
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